Happy to the Rescue
by madwriter223
Summary: -Kink Meme- Tony's been kidnapped. Happy doesn't like that. Featuring BAMF!Happy. Action and some Humor


**Happy to the Rescue**

.*. Irrelevant data; continuing search .*.

.*. Irrelevant data; continuing search .*.

.*. Irrelevant data; continuing search .*.

.*. Relevant data; processing .*.

.*. Irrelevant data; continuing search .*.

.*. Irrelevant data; continuing search .*.

.*. Relevant data; processing .*.

.*. Relevant data; processing .*.

.*. Irrelevant data; continuing search .*.

.*. Irrelevant data; continuing search .*.

.*. Relevant data; processing .*.

.*. Relevant data; processing .*.

.*. Relevant data; processing .*.

.*. Relevant data; processing .*.

.*. Relevant data; processing .*.

.*. Search complete; Tony Stark found .*.

.*~*.

"You're absolutely sure of this, JARVIS?" Happy asked, helping to attach the last additional servo to You.

"Search results are positive 99,009%."

"I like those odds." You finished, Happy shrugged the harness on, standing still as Dummy secured it around his waist. "Everything prepared?"

"The Quinjet is fueled and the start up sequence is complete in 87%."

"What about SHIELD?" He kneeled so that Butterfingers could get to the shoulder straps.

"Agent Coulson regrets to inform that SHIELD's hands are tied. They are not willing to violate the treaty with Latveria to get to the AIM facility located in its territory. Director Fury feels that such action would open them to the possibility of war with Victor von Doom."

"Whimps." Happy grinned, wiggling his fingers in the wired gloves You slipped on him.

"Indeed, Sir."

Happy stood, and tested his range of movements. "Like second skin." He grinned at the three bots surrounding him. "You guys ready to go?"

Beeps and clicks were his answer.

.*~*.

Happy turned the key in the ignition as soon as the Quinjet landed and the engine came alive with a purr. He grinned to himself then grabbed the steering wheel firmly. The cargo bay door opened slowly, but as soon opened enough, Happy hit the accelerator. The wheels screeched and they were off.

.*~*.

Getting through the primary fence was easy enough. Seriously, wire fence? Those AIM goons must be idiots.

The secondary fence was a brick wall, but hey, he was driving his favorite vehicle in the lot. Reinforced with adamantium and with thrusters used on smaller planes. Happy floored it and they slammed through the brick wall like through butter.

The last obstacle was the metal walls of the compound itself, and Happy was more than happy to press the big red button he'd asked JARVIS to install. The front lights emitted a powerful repulsor beam, blasting through both metal and concrete.

Happy kept going until the tablet JARVIS took over beeped at him.

"Master Tony is in the next chamber on the right."

"Thanks, JARVIS!" Happy yelled, turning the steering wheel sharply and breaking through the wall to save time.

And there was Tony, attached to wires and hooked up to a great big machine, with AIM personnel milling around him in a panic. The great big-ass head was yelling something at him, but like Happy cared.

Happy popped open the doors and jumped out. He extended his hand, palm first, fingers straight up, and started blasting everything with the portable repulsors mounted on his harness. Dummy, You and Butterfingers filed out of the car too and started spraying guards, docs and anything AIM with their fire extinguishers, specially upgraded by JARVIS for more spray.

Happy grabbed the JARVIS tablet and rushed over to Tony, blasting everything in his path. The floating head didn't seem much affected, and instead kept firing what looked like lasers at him.

"You fool! You will fall under the might of MODOK!"

Happy took careful aim and flung the little neuron disruptor at his rather large target. Bulls eye, right on the forehead! The tablet beeped obediently, and Big Head screamed as he disruptor activated. Happy had to admit that large head made a satisfying sound when it crashed into the floor.

Happy lay the tablet on Tony's chest, and kept blasting while JARVIS hacked the AIM system remotely. He made sure he wouldn't blast any support beams, but firing at the big computers seemed fair game. He chuckled when he noticed Dummy pounding his empty fire extinguisher into a random AIM goon, Butterfingers soon following his example. You on the other hand seemed content to just chase anything that moved and spray them within an inch of their life.

"Sir, it is now safe to move Master Tony."

Happy gave one last blast, then tucked the tablet in his harness and started ripping the multiple wires and electrodes off Tony's skin. He was extra careful with removing the plugs attached around the Arc Reactor, but soon his boss was free. Happy gathered him up into a fireman's carry, and blasted his way back to the car.

"Guys, we're going!" He yelled on the way, and the three bots obediently rolled after them, loading themselves quickly into the backseat. Happy put Tony next to them, then jumped behind the steering wheel.

It was much easier to blast through another wall rather than turn the car around, so that's what he did. He kept the repulsor beam lights on until they were on the right track to getting out of the facility.

"Dummy, buddy, drop the 'presents'!" He called, and the bot beeped and pushed the green button. The trunk popped open and ejected the bomb. Another popped out seconds later, then another and the trunk slid closed.

"Fire whenever you want, JARVIS."

"As you wish, sir."

They were past the wire fence when the bombs detonated, leveling the exit of the compound.

"I have also taken the liberty of severing the external commlinks as well as disrupting any other means of both communication and transportation within the AIM facility."

"JARVIS, if you had lips, I'd seriously kiss you right now."

"Happy?" A quiet, hoarse voice called suddenly, and Happy had to grin.

"Yeah, Boss?"

"What happened?" Tony sat up slowly, coughing slightly.

"You were late for a meeting, so Pepper sent me to get you back." Happy answered with a cheeky grin. "Sorry it took so long, me and the guys had to prepare a lot of things."

Tony blinked at him, then looked around the interior of the car. "Did you seriously rescue me in a limo?"

"Iron Man armored battle limo, at your service." Happy said with a small laugh, glancing in the rear view mirror at his employer. "We even got you a 'glad you're still alive' gift. Dummy, do the honors."

Dummy beeped and handed Tony a McDonald's bag, still hot.

Tony stared at the bag, an astounded smile playing at his lips. "You got me an American cheeseburger?"

"With everything on it, just like you like it."

Tony laughed, hugging the bag to his chest. "Happy, you are getting so much raise when we get home."

"Let me keep this limo and the repulsor harness, then we'll be even."

.*~*.

Hill stood in the middle of Med Bay, hands on her hips. "I'm sorry, but how did we not know about a man who can single handedly infiltrate an AIM facility and escape without injury to himself with a kidnap victim within a single hour? In a _limo_?"

"Well, he didn't so much 'infiltrate' as 'blast his way inside'." Tony said around the breathing mask.

"Besides, I had the dude'bots." Happy pointed out, motioning to Dummy, You and Butterfingers. "They helped a lot too."

"Nonetheless, a man of your caliber of abilities should be a SHIELD operative."

"No offense, Ma'am, but I'm just a driver." Happy said with an impudent grin.

Hill huffed, and turned to address Fury. "Sir, we really should draft him. He could prove to be valuable in the field."

"Agent Hill, we are not the army, we can not officially draft a person." Coulson pointed out, tone dry. "Especially one who is the driver of celebrity Tony Stark, and the public are sure to notice if he disappears or is replaced without due reason."

Hill stared at him, face red.

Fury shook his head. "As long as you stay out of SHIELD business and keep to saving Stark's ass when SHIELD is unable to, I don't care."

"Fine by me." Happy said, mock-saluting.

Fury nodded at them, then left, his coat billowing dramatically behind him. Hill sent Coulson a glare, then left too, Coulson following after her.

Tony and Happy shared a fist bump.

.

.

.

**Written for Kink Meme Prompt:**

Something happens to Tony (kidnapping, untraceable (because of injury, whatever), etc) and the rest of the team, SHIELD, Pepper and Rhodey find out why, exactly, it is not a very good idea to go after Tony...  
Overprotective!JARVIS isn't _that_ surprising, BAMF!JARVIS more, but still not as surprising as the other discovery...  
So, folks and villains, you should think twice before doing anything to Tony, because you'll have to face the consequences: being hunted down mercilessly by overprotective!BAMF!Happy (together with JARVIS).  
No one hurts his (their) precious 'little' master (boy). No one.

- BAMF!Happy is BAMF and can do more than simple boxing.  
- Even Pepper and Rhodey (and Natasha) didn't know, even though they know him longer. Only JARVIS (and Tony) knew.

+ if Coulson lives, knows and helps  
+ for hinted Thor/Tony (bottom!Tony, so territorial Thor)  
+ Hill doesn't approve of SHIELD not being informed of a potentiell agent/helper and Fury just doesn't give a fuck


End file.
